Dark Shades and Bright Parasols
by DSBP
Summary: How did Mr 5 and Miss Valentine meet? After all they seem total opposites, with one being a trench coat wearing, sun-glass sporting cool guy and the other being a fashionable lady with an obsession for lemons. In this tale of two unlikely individuals forced to work together, can these two agents solve their differences in time, or will their organisation be forced to get involved
1. Chapter 1

Through the dusty streets of Alubarna went the two men, wrapped tightly in robes and headscarves, their features obscured to the crowds of people that swept by them. Not one passerby paid much attention to this pair, nor noticed the faint outline of weapons hidden beneath the folds of their clothes; after all they dressed like most others and bore no insignia or medallions that might indicate their military origin. So undisturbed they walked through the city, passing through the markets and its stalls, under arches and houses both grand and humble. They walked on and on until it seemed they would leave Alubarna all together. But just at the fringes of the city they left the busy main streets for a far less frequented avenue, where the few souls to see them were ragged and uninterested. No one noticed the men turn off even from this street, disappearing down a dark alley further hidden from prying eyes. The alley was narrow and the two men could hardly stand shoulder to shoulder as they walked. So when they finally broke free from this suffocating backstreet and into a small, hidden courtyard filled with men and women dressed just like them, the two were greatly relieved.

A woman, noticing the new arrivals, disengaged herself from the waiting group and went over to greet the two men. "Commander Shirei, Sergeant Gurep, you've come at last. The informer is waiting in the safe house as we speak," said the woman as the two officers approached.

"Thank you Corporal, we'll take it from here. You wait on guard outside," said Commander Shirei, hurrying past with Sergeant Gurep to the only door that offered itself in the courtyard. Opening it up and walking inside they were presented with a single corridor, at whose end lay a door guarded by alone soldier.

"Sirs, he's all ready for you," said the guard, who saluted and opened the door. Nodding their thanks to the watchman, the two men entered and found an almost bare, dusty room. The only thing contained within this room was a window, a single table and a couple of chairs, upon one of which sat a tired looking man. Stopping in the doorway of the safe room, Commander Shirei took in their strange guest.

He certainly was an odd fellow, the Commander found. Dressed in a glaring pinstripe suit and a bowler hat, the man seemed out of place in the humid weather of Alabasta. The motif of the number 6 also lent to the enigmatic nature of the man, with the digit being embroiled in a number of locations on the stranger's foreign clothes. _Who the hell have I got here?_ Shirei asked himself.

"Finally someone of authority, someone who can actually do something about the insidious plan being hatched," said the man covered in 6's, looking through red eyes at Commander Shirei and Sergeant Gurep as they entered the room.

"Bah, why couldn't you have told us what you have to say in the palace? The streets are almost deadly on market day," said Sergeant Gurep, stalking behind the suited man.

"Because you fool, the palace is compromised! _They'd_ hear, and then _they'd_ have us all killed!" said the suited man, placing his head in his hands and letting out a groan.

"My men say you keep talking about this _they_ , why don't you tell us about them?"Said Shirei, taking a seat opposite their guest.

"Of course," said the man, suddenly becoming animated again and lifting his head up. "I know this sounds crazy, but you have to believe me. The Kingdom, well...it's been infiltrated by a secret organisation that calls itself Baroque Works".

From behind the suited man Sergeant Gurep burst out laughing, the biting noise filling the barren room. "What? A secret organisation, what sort of crazy theory is this?"

"I'm telling the truth damn you!" said the suited man, turning to the laughing soldier behind him. "We even have secret code names. Mine for instance is Mr 6". Despite Mr 6's apparent sincerity, Gurep continued to laugh, doubling over and wiping tears from his eyes.

"That's enough from you Sergeant," said Shirei sternly. In truth this Mr 6 seemed to answer in good faith. After all, the Commander told himself, wasn't his clothing covered in the number six? And certainly this strange man did seem as if he thought himself in danger, twitching and jumping at every sudden movement. "Now _Mr 6_ , why don't you tell us what this Baroque Works is all about, you said they have infiltrated the Kingdom, why is that?"

"They have a plan. You see they claim to want to build the perfect country, where crime doesn't exist and everyone can live happily ever after. But here's the thing, this is no more than a mask, a drawn curtain that obscures their true cause, to subjugate the entire Kingdom of Alabasta to the rule of their leader. Why, they want nothing more than to overthrow the King in some sort of coup," said Mr 6, his voice shaking as he finally delivered his desperate news to Commander Shirei.

"Oh come on! Sir are you really going to believe this lunatic's ramblings. Most probably this guy's just some nut who escaped from the local asylum. I mean just listen to what he is saying" snarled Gurep, looming over Mr 6 and sneering down on the self-proclaimed agent.

"It's true, and if you don't act soon the King, even the Kingdom itself, will be in danger," said Mr 6, still facing Shirei with an imploring look in his eyes.

"Tell me Mr 6, who is the leader of this Baroque Works," said Commander Shirei, leaning in over the table.

"Damn it I don't know, the company keeps its agents identifies well, especially its president," said Mr 6, letting out a long sigh, "But I do know his codename and it is Mr 0, the man you never see."

Shirei took this all in. A secret organisation, a man known only as Mr 0, this was beginning to sound more and more farfetched by the minute. Yet the commander couldn't shake the feeling that this suited man was telling the truth, despite what his Sergeant said.

"Please Commander, you have to believe me, I...," began Mr 6, before a thud sounded from the courtyard outside. Mr 6 flinched and looked at the two men in the room with him. "Their here, by God their here and there's nothing we can do." He pushed himself to his feet and hurried over to the window in the back of the room.

"Mr 6 please calm down. This place is old and there are always sounds erupting from nowhere," said Shirei, watching as the scared man peered outside the window.

"No! You don't understand how ruthless Mr 0 can be. My God the things he wanted me to do. I just couldn't live with myself if I had gone through with what he wanted. Hell I may be a sword for hire, but I still have some morals you know"

"Sergeant Gurep, I think it's about time we called in the Clerk, he should have the confession papers prepared by now," said Shirei to the old veteran.

"Wait, what? We're actually going to believe this guy? Sir, please see reason!" said Gurep, looking to his superior in surprise.

"That was an order Sergeant," warned Shirei, never taking his eyes of Mr 6. For a moment it seemed as if Gurep would argue back, but eventually his military discipline kicked in and grumbling the Sergeant made his way from the room.

"I believe you Mr 6. Many times in my career as a soldiering man I've had to rely on my gut instinct, and right now it's telling me to trust you," said Shirei once he had heard Gurep close the door. Standing up he went to join Mr 6 by the window, gazing out with him over the courtyard beyond.

"If we don't succeed here and now Commander, then Alabasta seems set to enter an age of ruin it may never escape from," said Mr 6, watching the group of congregating soldiers outside. Just as Shirei was about to assure the man that such a fate would not come to pass, he heard the door open behind him. Turning he saw Gurep enter with the Clerk, a batch of papers clutched in the new arrival's hand.

"Here we are Mr 6, all you have to do is sign the confession papers and we can bring this dire news to King Cobra himself," said Shirei, gesturing to the two men. Nodding, the informer turned to do as the Commander asked. But then the most peculiar of things happened, Shirei saw Mr 6 recoil, an expression of fear appearing on his face. "Mr 6, what is it?"

"Th...That's no Clerk. Oh God please, just leave me alone!" said Mr 6, pressing his back against the wall and trembling in fear. Alarmed, Shirei took in the man who Mr 6 seemed so afraid of. As far as he could see nothing had changed about the Clerk. He still wore those damn sunglasses, still had that cocky attitude and messy hair. What then was M 6 so afraid of?

"Mr 6 explain yourself, why are you reacting in such a way to a clerk of the King?" said Shirei, wondering if Gurep had been right when he had talked of madness.

Mr 6 shook his head and pointed an accusing finger at the man who held the confession papers. "That's no Clerk! It's Mr 5, the bomb man!"

"Nonsense, this official has been in our service for months now," said Shirei, turning to the Clerk, "Isn't that right?"

"Actually Commander Shirei, I'm afraid your informer is right, I am Mr 5," said the man, turning to Sergeant Gurep and motioning with his head towards the door.

"Sergeant, what is the meaning of this?" said Shirei, noticing the action, horror beginning to envelop him like frigid water.

"It's nothing personal Shirei," said Gurep, not looking the Commander in the eye, "Just that you know too much, that's all." With that said the Sergeant left the room again, shutting the door quietly behind him.

"The boss is very disappointed with you Mr 6," said Mr 5, who began to approach the two other men, his footsteps echoing in the bare room. "He's sent me to personally deal with you. Hell, did you really expect to give us the slip so easily?"

"Stay back!" said Shirei, drawing his sword and pointing it at the approaching man.

"No, no, no, no! It's too late for us, we're done for!" cried Mr 6, pressing as hard as he could against the wall, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Mr 5 came to a stop by the table and placed the confession papers he still held flat on its surface. "I want you to know that it's already too late for the Kingdom of Alabasta. Mr 0's plan is already in motion, and in just a few years time this backwater country will be ours!" said the Bomb Man, raising his fist and bringing it down hard on the papers. A great explosion filled the room, obliterating the tables and chairs and even the walls of the room too. Both Commander Shirei and Mr 6 were blown clean from the safe house, to land in charred heaps in the centre of the courtyard, before the Commander's horrified soldiers.

"What the...," said the soldiers in their stupor. Looking up to try and work out the source of the explosion, they saw a man standing in the hole created by the blast. He was picking his nose.

"Hey you, stay where you are!" called out one the soldiers, making to draw her weapon.

"Oh, you're not the one who gives orders here. Do you know why I am? I am an Officer Agent of Baroque Works. Mr 5 to be exact" said Mr 5, taking his finger from his nose and rolling up the unsightly speck that had come with it. "Now die! Go _Nose Fancy Cannon_!" The Bomb Man flicked his snot turned projectile at the group of soldiers, and another explosion sounded, blowing away the cluster of men and women in a shower of pavement shards and bits of armour. Then there was silence, with just the faint sounds of city life drifting in from the distance.

Mr 5 stared out over the scene of destruction before him and shook his head. People would be coming soon, to see what caused the black plumes of smoke to rise above the city's skyline, and he needed to make sure that there was no evidence waiting for them. Glancing up to the sweltering sun, set above in a sprawling blue sky, the Baroque Works' agent decided that it was going to be a long day.


	2. A meeting at the Hidden Cricket Cafe

Mr 5 eased himself onto the park bench and let out a groan. He had been right, the day had seemed to stretch on and on. For a moment he shut his eyes and allowed himself to feel the stifling caress of the sun overhead, hear the steady chatter of those who passed him by. It hadn't been easy but he had disguised the damage that had been done, for now. Soon though questions would start to be asked in the King's court, of the sudden disappearance of Commander Shirei and his men. Gurep would do all he could to delay the investigations, but sooner or later the King would find out that Sirei was gone. It was safe to say that Mr 5's time as Clerk for the King had come to an end. The man smiled to himself. _Well at least one good thing came out of this sorry affair._

He had been stuck in the Clerk job for too long. Whilst other Officer-Agents had been giving assignments that meant something to the organisation's mission, he had been told to keep an eye on the country's rulers, like some glorified babysitter. Hardly a fitting job for a numbered agent, and a Devil-Fruit user to boot. He knew why they had given him such a dead end job though, it was because he was the newest Officer-Agent, until today untried and untested. Well he hoped he had proved his worth, catching Mr 6's breakdown like that.

Truth be told Mr 6's betrayal had not come as much a surprise. Mr 5 had been keeping a close eye on the man for a while and it had become apparent that he was beginning to crack under the pressure of it all. He had been a fool to go running to the King's men though, he should have known the organisation would have agents in the government. Hell, why did he have to do that? Mr 5 sometimes had doubts about Baroque Works too, but you kept those sort of thing to yourself, a Bounty Hunter's life was no place for a conscience. Now he was dead, along with a whole platoon of good soldiers. _What a waste_.

The sun was starting descend now, its dying light casting the park in a low orange hue. It was time he got going; after all with his cover gone, Mr 0 was sure to be sending him a new assignment soon, and that meant he was going to need all the sleep he could get. Standing up and digging his hands deep into his robe pockets, Mr 5 made to leave the emptying park. Despite the prospect of arduous work, he smiled to himself, after all every new job brought with it fresh opportunities.

It took no more than two days to receive the news he had been waiting for. During this time he retreated to one of Baroque Works safe houses to wait for the heat to die down. Thereafter he hung about his refuge, knowing soon that Mr 0 would contact him. When they finally did come to him, drifting down from the cloudless sky, he was leaning on the safe house's balcony, looking down on the city he had spent almost a year in. Next thing he knew he was seeing the faint form of some misshapen bird coming towards him over the skyline of the city. It was only as this bird drew closer that Mr 5 realised it was Miss Friday, with Mr 13 on her back.

"What do you two want, huh?" Mr 5 called out as the two agents approached. They remained silent.

Mr 5 found that the two numbered agents unnerved him. There were only two reasons why the Unluckies would pay you a visit. One was that they were delivering a note from the boss, you other, well, to put a bullet in your head.

Miss Friday came to a stop on the balcony and her passenger handed Mr 5 a note. Opening it up, Mr 5 hurriedly read what it had to say. When he was finished he screwed the piece of paper up and clutched it tightly in his hand. He then let off a minute explosion, obliterating the note instantly.

"Tell him I'll be there," he said, a feeling unease creeping over him. The Unluckies nodded and Miss Friday took off again. Soon they were lost in the distant summer haze, leaving Mr 5 once more alone to his thoughts. Quickly he left the balcony and retreated back into the safe house.

This was unusual, suspiciously so. When Mr 13 had handed him the note, Mr 5 had been expecting the name of a new target or cover he was supposed to take, not this. Officer-Agents very rarely met each other in person, and when they did it was usually in the safety of Spider's Café, far away from any possible prying eyes. He didn't like it one bit, this could only mean bad news. But he had to go, to refuse would be to bring down the ire of Mr 0 down on him. _Well then_ , Mr 5 thought to himself, _if I'm going to do it, I might as well do it in style._

He went to his bedroom and pulled out from underneath his bed a battered old suitcase. Opening it up he found what he was looking for, a pile of clothes, on top of which sat a trench coat with the number five embroiled on it, and a pink cravat. _If I'm going to be meeting that insufferable know it all Mr 3, I might as well do it dressed like a true Officer-Agent of Baroque Works._

The next day found Mr 5 pushing his way through the crowds of Alubarna, now out of his uncomfortable Clerks clothes and dressed in his familiar trench coat. The Hidden café, that was where he was supposed to meet Mr 3. Though he had never been before, Mr 5 had spent long enough in the capital to know where the café was, nestled away in the Merchant's district. At the thought of this he couldn't help but chuckle, it was just like Mr 3 to arrange such a place to meet, even if it meant discovery by the authorities. _Well let it be on his cocky little head_.

When Mr 5 finally arrived at the café, he found it wedged between two imposing Merchant guild houses. To him it seemed an attempt at hiding the smaller building away from the rest of the public, secreting away a treasure in case it should be found and spoiled. He guessed this was probably the reason why Mr 3 had chosen the place, his own refuge away from the peasants and philistines that troubled his life. Having met the man before, it wouldn't have surprised Mr 5 if this was the case.

Making his way inside the Hidden Cricket Mr 5 found that the walls of the place were covered in paintings, whilst here and there stood plinths upon which sculptures rested. _Of course it would be this sort of place_. He swept his gaze over the the throng of people that inhabited the café, trying to find Mr 3's unmistakable form. Finally he found the other Officer- Agent, sat in the corner of the café drinking tea, just past the fat merchant with the jewel studded turban and the woman in a yellow dress covered in lemons.

"Ah, good to see you again Mr 5," said Mr 3 as the other agent approached. Mr 5 hurriedly looked about him, at the swell of faces that surrounded them.

"Is this really the best place to use my codename like that?" Mr 5 hissed as he sat down opposite the other man.

"Oh please Mr 5, I didn't just choose this place for the art you know. It's a busy day for the café, who's going to pay attention to the conversation of two customers out of many. Besides the owner of the café is a friend of mine, he'll see to it that there are no undesirables listening in on our conversation." Mr 5 relaxed at this news. _So we're on safe ground then._

It was at that point that a particular sculpture caught Mr 5's eye, stood on a plinth right beside the table they were at. It was a wax statue of a man who appeared to be in great pain. His affliction was so severe in fact it caused the man to double over and grasp at his stomach, his expression that of pure, unrelenting pain.

"Ah, do you like the art my friend?" said Mr3, noticing the attention Mr 5 paid the sculpture besides them, " I know for someone like you it must be difficult to grasp, but I can assure you that they only except the very best here, after all they did take in _my_ own work." The Officer-Agent inclined his head towards the pained, wax man. Mr 5 shook his head. He wanted to escape the café, its pretentious customers and Mr 3's sick art.

"Is there a reason why you brought me here today Mr 3, or are we just going to discuss art all day," said Mr 5, tired of the man's egotism.

"Of course, well let's just get right to it then," replied Mr 3, smirking, "How long have you been an Officer-Agent Mr 5?"

"Six months"

"And during these six months you've been without a partner, am I correct?" _Oh no_. Mr 5 knew where this was going. He thought he had proven that he didn't need a partner, that he could do any assignment given to him on his own.

"I thought that by catching out Mr 6 I proved to the boss that I didn't need a partner," said Mr 5, his hands clenching into fists.

"But the Mr 6 incident is the reason why Mr 0 feels it prudent to give you a partner," said Mr 3, taking sip of his tea, "You proved that you can be a good little Officer-Agent, and now the boss trusts that you can do more difficult work. But a partner is required for all numbered agents, well, except for Mr 2, he's _special_."

"I work better on my own though, someone else will just slow me down though," said Mr 5. That certainly had been the case during his career as a bounty hunter. He had needed no one then, why should he need a partner now?

"Are you telling me that your refusing Mr 0's request?" Mr 3 said, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow, "because that's what it sounds like to me."

Mr 5 felt his heartbeat quicken. Now that was a thought, refusing an order from the boss of Baroque Works. The next visit he received from the Unluckies could very well be of a more deadly kind.

"I guess I don't really have a choice then," Mr 5 said, through greeted teeth.

"Good, good, then I won't have to inform Mr 0 about another possible defector then," said Mr 3, a smirk playing across his lips.

"When will my partner arrive then," Mr 5 asked, dejected.

"Ha! That's the best part, she's already here. Mr 5, may I introduce you to your new partner, Miss Valentine," proclaimed Mr 3 with a flourish. No sooner had he said this than the woman sitting behind him, the one in the lemon dress, stood up and turned to face them.

"Mr 5, it's so nice to finally meet you," said the woman, a vast smile on her face.


	3. The Woman in the Yellow Dress

Mr 5 felt his world fall from him. _What?_ How could Mr 3 say that this woman, dressed in high heels, a bright yellow dress and hat, was his partner? How could she have possible become an Officer Agent dressed in the ridiculous and impractical clothes she was wearing now? Was this a joke? Was Mr 3 playing some unfunny trick on him, invited some naval officer's spoiled daughter to play the role of the real Miss Valentine?

"Well Mr 5, aren't you going to shake your new partner's hand?" Mr 3 said, interrupting Mr 5's train of panicked thoughts.

"Is this some sort of joke?" repeated Mr 5 out loud, standing up and turning on the other man.

"Hey, I don't joke, especially when it comes to Baroque Works business," Mr 3 replied, taking another sip of his tea, "Now shake your partner's hand so I can escape your boorish presence"

"But look at her, how could someone like that advance so far in our organisation?" said Mr 5, no way was he going to get lumbered with a partner who probably cared more about what she was wearing than advancing Baroque Works' cause.

"Hey! I'm right here you know!" said Miss Valentine before Mr 3 could reply to the other numbered agent's remarks. "Why don't you wait and see what I can do before you start criticizing me. You know I've seen Mr 2, you can't seriously say that how you dress effects your ability to provide for Baroque Works."

"Yeah, well the thing about that is that Mr 2 isn't going to be my partner!" said Mr 5, turning to his supposed partner and prodding her in the chest.

"Hahaha! Nothing to see her, just a lover's spat, that's all!" Proclaimed Mr 3 suddenly, standing up and drawing the surprised looks of both Mr 5 and Miss Valentine.

"What are you talking about….?"Began Miss Valentine, before noticing the whole café seemed to be watching the agents bicker, eyes wide as they heard talk of secret organisations and numbers.

"Sit down and shut up both of you, before the Unluckies find out what's happening," Mr 3 hissed, still beaming at the watching patrons. With reluctance, and shooting daggers at each other, the bickering pair took Mr 3's advice and sat down about the table.

"Are you both stupid, or do you want Mr 0 to have our heads?" said Mr 3, joining them when the patrons of the café had finally gone about their business, leaning in so there was no chance of being heard by any more idle ears.

"But she started it," hissed Mr 5.

"No I didn't" replied Miss Valentine with a huff, folding her arms and throwing her partner an exasperated look.

"I don't care, now shut and listen. You don't have a choice, Mr 0 says that you're going to be partners, and I shouldn't have to tell you that what the boss says is final, am I right?" The other two agents wearily nodded. "Good, now stop bickering and listen to what I have to tell you, because this is _very_ important. Baroque Works is in trouble, everything we have worked hard to achieve is in jeopardy. You see a shipment of Dance Powder has been stolen, and the Boss wants you to get it back for him."

Mr 5 heard Miss Valentine gasp, he himself felt his hands clench into fists. Their entire operation depended on dance powder, if a marine or Alabasta official were to find the powder, then it would mean the end of them all. The King would order an investigation, the world government would get involved and soon all Baroque Agents would be dragged kicking into the light.

"Luckily we know the name of the person who has stolen from us, her name is Rodeo Sally, Captain of the Sea Snake pirates. We also know for a fact that she is a Devil Fruit user, though which one she ate we're still not sure," said Mr 3, watching the two other agents closely, trying gauge their reactions. "Of course as I'm sure you know, this is a rather delicate situation, the boss is putting a great deal of trust in you, I mean usually he would just send me, but my hands, like the other numbered agents, are very much tied at the moment. This is a chance for both of you to prove your work as Officer-Agents, and if you fail here, well let's just say the boss will make sure you don't get another chance."

Mr 5 felt his pulse quicken. This was finally his chance. He had waited for so long for this day to come, there was no way he could fail. He turned his head to Miss Valentine, took in her yellow hat and dress, the white gloves on her hands and the high heels she wore on her feet. His chosen partner on the other hand, who knows what sort of trouble she would cause him.

"Rodeo Sally took the ship carrying our Dance Powder just off the port town of Nanohana, the boss expects you to leave immediately to find the missing ship and its invaluable cargo. And with that said my work here is done, Mr 5 and Miss Valentine, I bid you adieu," said Mr 3, sitting up, his usual sneer plastered across his features. The agent then made his way out of the café, disappearing into the sweltering streets outside.

"I take it you'll be picking up the tab then," said Miss Valentine to her new partner, nodding towards the empty tea cups that Mr 3 had left behind. A large grin had reappeared on her face, revealing white teeth that seemed to consume any trace of sincerity that could have mistakenly been attributed to such a gesture. Letting out a groan, Mr 5 placed his head in his hands. _Why me_? He thought to himself, _what have I done to deserve this_.

Miss Valentine followed Mr 5 through the streets of Alubarna, hurrying to catch up to his long gait. In her hands she clasped a parasol, better to protect her from the harsh rays of the sun, though she had other uses for one of her most treasured possessions.

"You look ridicules with that thing, why don't you just buy robes like everyone else if you want protection from the sun," Mr 5 said as she caught up to him.

"Because robes don't look good, especially with yellow," Miss Valentine replied back, glancing to a group of passer-by's, dressed in their brown and blue robes, tattered and worn by weather and wear.

"Some things are more important than fashion Miss Valentine," replied Mr 5, leading her on and on, through the teeming city, to a destination she knew nothing about. Truth be told her partner's cold shoulder was starting to get on her nerves. What was his problem anyway, was he that obsessed with his work? Was he so unwilling to share responsibilities with someone else? Miss Valentine was sure she would never know what hidden thoughts were running through that thick head of his, but she sure wasn't going to let him shut her out that easily.

"I know a great restaurant in this district, how about we go and discuss our plans there over a delightful chocolate soufflé," said Miss Valentine. _Surely this will win him over_ , she thought to herself, _there wasn't a person alive would could resist such divine treats_.

"I don't want any. We'll discuss our plans on the way to Nanohana. And we leave tonight, we can't let that damn pirate get any more of a lead over us," said Mr 5, leading the hurrying Miss Valentine down one of the many alleys that ran through the capital city of Alabasta, past the mounds of putrid rubbish and battered old buildings.

"Hey wait up, what's the hurry all of a sudden?" said Miss Valentine as the shade of the alley swallowed them, carried them away from the bustling main streets. Overhead the sun was blotted out by the leaning rooftops, and ahead the gloom turned steadily into clinging darkness.

"Didn't you hear me? Where are we going…?" she continued, before a shape emerged ahead of them, large and all ablur in the low light of the alley.

"Well, well, what 'ave we got 'ere, eh?" said the figure.

"A couple of lost little tourist's, that's who," came a voice from behind Miss Valentine. Turning to discover its source, she found that a woman had appeared behind them, a rusty cutlass clutched her grubby hands.

"Aye, I think yer right my dear," said the figure ahead of them, a man who clutched a vast hammer in one of his meaty hands.

"Move aside, I haven't got time to be dealing with lowlifes like you," said Mr 5, staring up at the man, who stood a deal taller than the agent.

"Now why would we do something like that, when I know you must have all sorts of goodies on you," said the alley man, leering down at Mr 5, with a look that made Miss Valentine shudder.

"That umbrella you're carrying looks like it'll fetch a pretty price," said the woman near Miss Valentine, grinning and revealing blackened teeth. Miss Valentine gripped her parasol tight, she knew where this was going, she knew it all too well.

"I'll have you know that it's a parasol, and if you touch it you're dead," she said, feeling her power stir within her, rise to the surface like some viscous sea predator.

"Alright then, if yer won't give us yer valuables, then we'll just have to take them ourselves!" said the large man, surging forward to overwhelm Mr 5. Miss Valentine saw the woman with the bad teeth rush forward as well, sword held before her, trying no doubt to run her through. But the woman never got a chance, Miss Valentine looked deep inside herself, found what she was looking for and shed it, cast it from her like a second skin. Then she pushed up with her feet and was shooting towards the rooftops, laughing as she did so, feeling that familiar thrill as she felt the air rush by her, as the sky reached for her with its brilliant blue void. Below she could see the others were staring up at her in amazement, as she reached now higher above the rooftops themselves, even the woman who had attacked her was gawking, stood still now that she had witnessed the power of the Kilo Kilo fruit; perfect. She adjusted her parasol, still held high above her head and prepared her attack.

"Now! Ten thousand kilo press!" she cried, before finding the thing that she had cast off and wrapping it around her, enlarging it and embracing it. Then she was shooting towards the ground with all the force of a meteorite, heading straight for the petrified mugger.

When Miss Valentine landed, the walls of the alley, even the very ground itself, cracked and split beneath the force. The mugger, the woman with bad teeth, was driven beneath the ground when the agent landed on her, disappearing down a hole whose bottom was lost in darkness.

Through the dust thrown up by the impact, Miss Valentine picked herself up and brushed herself off.

"What the hell was that?" said the large man, pointing a fat finger at the beaming woman who had just piledrived his partner into the ground.

"That was the power of the Kilo Kilo fruit," said Miss Valentine in a cheery voice, "Now hold still whilst I do the same to you." But the would-be mugger wasn't listening, instead he had turned and ran, his large form disappearing down the alley.

"Well, I'm glad we got that out the way, shall we continue on?" said Miss Valentine, enjoying the dumbfounded look on her partners face.

"W…what the hell _was_ that?" said Mr 5, bringing another laugh from Miss Valentine.

"Silly, don't you know another devil fruit user when you see one," she said, "I ate the Kilo, Kilo fruit no more than a year back, and now I can change the weight of my body just like that." She clicked her fingers and put her hands to the sky, laughing all the while as she did so.

"Then why didn't you tell me that back at the café?" said Mr 5, glancing over to the hole in the ground, shaped like the mugger that had just been standing there no more than a minute ago.

"You didn't ask," said Miss Valentine, shrugging her shoulders and brushing past her partner, her large smile never leaving her. _That go his attention, didn't it?_


End file.
